A Film About Love and her Victims.

Obsession and betrayal on the cheap makes grown men weep. Okay, okay…Jessica Biel makes them weep.

By Jason Hink

And you don’t even have to watch the movie to know this; the back of the box tells you all you need to know about the movie contained inside, which happens to be called London: “Not the city,” the Blu-ray description states, “The woman. A very hot woman. Now that his passionate but stormy relationship with London has ended, Syd has become a total wreck.” And that woman is Biel, who stars alongside Chris Evans, Jason Statham, Joy Bryant, Kelli Garner and Isla Fisher in a film that many have forgotten (if they ever knew it existed in the first place) but can now see in HD thanks to Mill Creek Entertainment, who once again rescues a catalog title from DVD obscurity.

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Written and directed by Hunter Richards, it’s a dark, slimy film about slimy and pathetic people…but at least some of that patheticness comes from relatable circumstances—mainly, a major breakup—which catapults this story that’s largely based in a single location.

We open with sad sack Syd (future Captain America Chris Evans) learning that his ex-girlfriend is getting a lavish NYC going away party. And his ex isn’t just anyone, no sir-ee; it’s stop-the-presses hottie bombshell London (Jessica Biel), who’s leaving New York to move across the country to California with her new beau. Syd, battling depression and a severe case of the Bad Lucks, doesn’t cotton to the news, and he’s gonna do something about it! What’s that, exactly?

You guessed it: he’s attending that damn party! And maybe, just maybe, if he says the right thing, he can charm his way back into London’s good graces and maybe (just maybe) she’ll take him back. Or maybe, if he snorts enough cocaine in the party pad’s bathroom, the same result will magically appear (isn’t that how coke works? I mean, don’t ask me. I wouldn’t know, ya know…). But I’m not joking around about drugs for the fun of it—they are everywhere in this film.

Prior to Syd’s heading to the party, he hooks up with his dealer at a local bar, the snappily dressed Bateman (Jason Statham). After some prodding, he gets Bateman to tag along (what better cheerleader to have in your corner than the guy who supplies your high?). The pair arrive at Rebecca’s (Isla Fisher), who’s throwing London’s party while her parents are out of town, giving these 20-somethings free reign of the gorgeous, two-story apartment. Unfortunately for Syd’s mental state, he and Bateman are early arrivers, giving them way too much time to hang out before the rest of the party arrives, which just enough time to get blitzed.

As the rest of the guests trickle in, we’re treated to a parade of strapping studs and gorgeous gals looking for a good time, including Syd’s and London’s mutual friends Maya (Kelli Garner) and Mallory (Joy Bryant), who promptly find their way to the marble-lined upstairs bathroom where all the blow is being snorted and tequila guzzled, and they all give their two cents to Syd who just can’t seem to find enough courage (or crack) to leave the crapper and make his move on London. Is destiny in the cards for our reluctant hero tonight? Will he get the girl and live happily ever after? Will we all black out and not remember the night before?

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The 2005 film London, released in the States in February 2006 after premiering the previous fall at the Montreal Film Festival, doesn’t feel like a movie from 2005. For this viewer, it feels about 10 years out of date with its mid-90s indie vibe and intense focus on the pathos of this cast of good-looking, late Gen X and early Millennial slackers. It’s not necessarily a bad thing…if that’s what you’re looking for. And in 2005, critics certainly weren’t looking for it as evidenced by their absolute thrashing of this little picture that grossed just over $20,000 in its likely brief theatrical run.

But it definitely plays better as a circa-1995 video store rental or cable offering for the college and mid-twenties set, especially those who can relate to what’s going on with this lot of losers. If you partake in dulling the senses with illicit, illegal (and spendy) metro drugs like these folks do, then you might be able to latch on to any one of these guilty parties. But the real hook here as far as relatability goes is the breakup angle. Who among us didn’t get dumped when we didn’t want to be? Or screw up the “best thing ever,” leaving us single and alone again? That’s the stuff that lends Syd at least a shred of sympathy from the discerning viewer. These people turn to substance as they try to not think about those everyday bad decisions we’ve all made at one time or another. If you’re a fan of anyone in this cast, that’s what you’re in store for with London.

But the cast is a draw, too. At this point in her career, Biel, 23 at the time, was no longer a regular in TV’s long-running 7th Heaven, where many of us first saw her (she appeared only as a recurring character or special guest in 3 of the show’s final 4 seasons). By this point she taking on more “adult” roles. Interesting side note: when I told a friend I was watching London (“this obscure movie with Jessica Biel, Chris Evans, Jason Statham…”) she replied, “Oh, sounds like Cellular.” And she was right! All three appeared in that action movie just a year before, in 2004. I’m unaware of any connection the films have aside from the actors involved, but they’re very different movies.

Familiar faces pop up here and there. Louis C.K. as a therapist. Comedian Dane Cook as an energetic party-goer who flirts with London. And racy flashbacks from Bateman’s life with Casey LaBow portraying a dominatrix, intercut with his interactions at the party with Lilly (played by Kat Dennings).

Writer-director Hunter Richards didn’t do much after London that I can find (not that he needed to; he sold his first original screenplay to Paramount for seven figures prior to this film’s production). London was his feature debut, but his resume is quite an interesting study, filled with documentaries, obscure shorts and cable TV projects, along with forays into mobile games design (if the Internet’s to be believed, he was last working on a “digital therapeutic” mobile game “controlled by heart rate and brainwaves using biofeedback.” Please tell me that’s true; might as well go all-in on the machines taking over!).

London has become something of a cult classic since its release almost 20 years ago. It has its moments. If you’re only accustomed to Statham’s slam-bang action-movie roles, you might be surprised by his performance here, which is nicely shaded and “real”—for my money, the most interesting in the film. The music is provided by electronic band The Crystal Method, also lending credibility to the cult status London‘s achieved over the years.

Mill Creek’s 1080p Blu-ray of this Destination Films/Samuel Goldwyn Films production looks fine, and is likely sourced from the supplied element via the rights holder, Sony. So this Blu is likely the best we’re going to see for London unless a future remastering takes place down the road. There are no extras or special features. English subtitles are provided.

At it’s core, it’s a film about redemption, or at least the hope and illusion of redemption. Whether you can root for these characters or not is the true question, and if I had to guess, it’s that narrow demographic of late Gen Xers and early millennials that will appreciate this most (fan scores are much higher than critical sentiment of the time, if that says anything). It’s definitely a party, a party at a nice place. And maybe that’s what you’ll relate to.

But in the end, is it worth it to go back and embarrass yourself, trying to get the girl back? Normally I’d say no. But it’s Jessica Biel, so……

Jason Hink is a writer, editor and content producer. Sign up for his Email Newsletter here. For more of Jason’s reviews, visit here.